Tuesday, November 8, 2011

simultaneous collision

falling in love is a madness act that moved at its own pace. it is not a dependable variable that follow the pace of the person we are falling with.no, it moved on its own. the person who we are falling with meanwhile, have the pace of their own. these two feelings have things for each other but they doesn't move simultaneously, sometimes its too early or too fast and sometimes its too slow or too late.the uneven velocity is the problem. its not like physics, where you can calculate simultaneous collision by predicting the result at every point of collision or resting contact by using the formula vf = −e vi. no, falling in love is not science for fuck sake, its beyond logic. we can't predict the pace and velocity of others. falling in love is taking risk, an act that you commit alone, not together. the feelings will collide every now and then, and it is what you do during the collision (ignoring the fact that you didn't know its a collision phase) that determine the outcome.

ps: selamat ulangtahun

Monday, October 31, 2011

i ask my heart,

i ask my heart, why i can't sleep at nights..

my heart replied,
its because you sleep in the afternoon. don't act like you're in love all the time : D

Sunday, October 9, 2011

staring star

i have to find the perfect spot,
the reliable telescopes,
the right mood,
and the calmest night,
to gaze at the sky,
and stare at the most beautiful star
dancing its way on galaxies,

or i can just wait until its monday,
and sit beside you.

ps: happy birthday to me. yeay

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Wednesday in winter

i love you little
but so straightforwardly
for that is more,
than loving you immense
but so complexly

but relentless

self effacing

little by little i love you
until it is not so straightforward anymore
what started off as a quiet emotion
little by little,
turn into something that is not so little anymore

louder and louder it grew,
from Wednesday in winter to Saturday in summer
depict a major emotion cry out
from day to day,
to days
for today i love you immense,

and now it becomes complex

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

dissolve in me

now come to me, my frozen summer bee
around me linger, until its winter
fold thyself around sweet cuppa tea,
sleep honey bee don't you worry
hear my ancient letter, close your eyes my dear,
crumble upon ye lily, until gone, thou weary
glide into thy sea, and dissolve in me

and in love with me and me only

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

a fish that has a secret wish

And the rattlesnake said,
"I wish I had hands so
I could hug you like a man."
And then the cactus said,
"Don't you understand,
My skin is covered with sharp spikes
That'll stab you like a thousand knives.
A hug would be nice,
But hug my flower with your eyes.

kimya dawson

Saturday, September 24, 2011

Friday, September 23, 2011

remote astro rosak

love means differently for different person. how you define love might not be the same as how aunty jual surat khabar dekat tepi lorong define it. but that doesn't mean aunty jual surat khabar tepi lorong punya love wasn't true.it is not the same, but that is how she define it, it is true to her. each of us has different kind of heart, rasa lain-lain. cara tunjuk sayang lain-lain, cara tunjuk ambil berat lain-lain. people have their own ways to express feelings. tapi apek jual kerepek depan flat sana perogol bersiri

Tuesday, September 20, 2011


i miss simple things in life

Sunday, September 18, 2011


sekarang ini jam menunjukkan pukul 2.18 pagi,
aku tengah makan nasi tomato,
lauk daging kicap dengan ayam kari,
pinggan yang ketiga

Thursday, September 8, 2011


I have a dream of you I can't defined
You've been on my mind
Don't go
I'll be lost without you by my side
Lost and on my own
Yeah I'm falling for an angel

Your brightest star is shining next to mine
Every night and day
Do you know
Stars exploded then they fade away
Then they fade away
Yeah I'm falling for an angel
Yeah I'm falling for an angel

Would you please be my baby
Come by and I lay you down
I'm loving when you say I love you too

Won't you please be my honey
I'm sorry that I let you down
Your eyes are breaking my heart in two
Break my heart in two

May the One above us keep you safe
For the rest of days
If He knows
How I love the smile all on your face
He guide you here to stay

Yeah I'm falling for an angel
Yeah I'm falling for an angel

Yeah angel

*when you're silent it speaks, when you speak it is silent

Friday, September 2, 2011

Thursday, August 25, 2011


Perempuan: "Awak tengok apa lagi? Dah azan tu."

Lelaki: "Tengok muka awak. Kan sunat berbuka dengan yang manis-manis."

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

lovers in Paris

ze beautiful sunset creeps behind Eiffel
center of Les Lilas and Maison Blanche
charming orange sky of Paris hums affection wordlessly
romantic whispering of zephyr starts to flow slowly
tickles every hearts in the city of love

j'entends ta voix dans tous les bruits du monde

center of Eiffel, there was you and I
holding hands,
palm to palm, chest to chest.
softly our noses collide
gazing at each other,
lookin inside ze chocolate rounded eyes makes me melt

en dehors de tes yeux, il n'y a pas de jardins

stealing kisses upon the fading shadows
murmurs sweet promises that only heaven knows
lost in the mist of love
two lovers who fall in love in Paris

on such a wonderful and tender orange evening, i just wanna say
je t'aimerai toute ma vie

Monday, August 22, 2011

Ahmad Nawab bin Syamsul Subkidin Baki

Ahmad Nawab sedang berkira-kira untuk meluahkan perasannnya terhadap makcik kantin sekolah depan rumahnya, Sherry. tak padan dengan makcik kantin, nama macam artis.

"Hi,Sherry. buat apa tu. goreng keropok ke. keropok ikan eh. saya paling suka keropok ikan. saya baru bangun nh, sebenarnya saya ada benda nak cakap. tadi saya mimpi awak. sebenarnya dah banyak malam jugak saya mimpi awak. entah lah, kebelakangan ni saya selalu fikir pasal awak. selalunya hari isnin lah saya fikir pasal awak, hari selasa pun sama jugak. bila hari minggu banyak sikit dari hari rabu dengan khamis. hari jumaat saya pergi semayang jumaat. saya sebenarnya suka awak. awak cantik dan baik. awak goreng keropok sedap. terutamanya keropok ikan. awak suka saya?"

Ahmad Nawab type pada henfonnya. belum send lagi, Ahmad Nawab baca balik apa yang ditulisnya. takut2 kalau ada tersalah tulis ke kan. selepas baca, Ahmad Nawab membuat beberapa potongan kepada ayat yang tidak perlu ala2 editor di Random House agar luahan perasaaan ini kedengaran lebih padu di henfon milik Sherry

"Hi,Sherry. buat apa tu. goreng keropok ke. saya baru bangun nh, sebenarnya saya ada benda nak cakap. tadi saya mimpi awak. sebenarnya dah banyak malam jugak saya mimpi awak. entah lah, kebelakangan ni saya selalu fikir pasal awak.saya sebenarnya suka awak. awak cantik dan baik. awak goreng keropok sedap. awak suka saya?"

okay kali ini punya lebih mantap bilang Ahmad Nawab dalam hati. dah buang segala hari2 apa yang pukimak tidak perlu sebentar tadi. hal keropok ikan juga sudah dipendekkan. nak send ke nh. aish baca balik lah kata Ahmad Nawab dalam hati. Ahmad Nawab nh asek kata dalam hati je.

"Hi,Sherry. buat apa tu. goreng keropok ke. saya baru bangun nh.saya sebenarnya suka awak. awak cantik dan baik. awak goreng keropok sedap. awak suka saya?"

yang nh lebih kemas rasanya kata Ahmad Nawab bukan di dalam hati. tapi kenapa tiba2 lepas bangun tidur cakap saya suka awak pulak. macam tak kena je.takut niat tu tak sampai pulak, macam panjang sangat je. bila nak luah perasaan nh ayat kena pendek dan bermakna. dieditnya oleh Ahmad Nawab buat kali terakhir.

"Hi,Sherry. buat apa tu. goreng keropok ke. awak goreng keropok sedap la. saya suka makan keropok terutamanya keropok ikan"

message delivered.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Cancer (20 June - 21 July)

hanging, but stammering:
This is the language of love.
A pleasure,
A treasure.
A gift without measure.
This is the beauty of love,
Always a miracle
This is the wonder of love.
More than a year has passed
Since you and I
Parted in grief and tears
Today at last
A letter came
One tiny, narrow sheet.
Tonight I’ve lit my lamp
A hundred times
To read its words of love.
This is love; two souls
That freely meet, and
Have no need
Of proving anything.

-mom, 1975

legen wait for it, dary

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Saturday, July 23, 2011

quick update

ramadhan is approaching
thanks Allah for giving me a chance to come upon another ramadhan
i hope this ramadhan will be a meaningful one
i wish i could make masjid as a place where i hang out the most,
and make all amalan my bestfriends
just for this special month at least.

you know, a lot of people are lost.
wander without a reason.
they forget the main purpose in life
sometimes people need a reminder
hope this coming ramadhan will serve as a kick in the head to all people out there, including me.

Monday, June 13, 2011

2011 nba champion

Dallas Mavericks

hard work and determination

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

stop looking. start seeing

Paul: “I think technically ‘The Girl Of My Dreams’ would probably have like a really bodacious rack, you know, maybe different hair, she’d probably be a little more into sports, But truthfully, Robyn is better than the girl of my dreams. She’s real"

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

selamat 22

may all your dream come true, happy birthday

Thursday, March 24, 2011

2 minute date

we don't have the whole day to be spent together,
seeing you just for a second is enough then
it made my whole day

Sunday, March 20, 2011

inspiration during hey day

a sad yet beautiful song about fragmented fondness
this is lagu zaman-zaman sekolah bhahahah
in high school back then, vincent fang's work have a lot of influence in my writing.
metaphor rapidly become fascination in almost all my work during that time.
fang wrote with heart and thats why those lyrics are ridiculously pure, deep and well placed
when he work with jay, they produced a friggin romantic master piece. grr

shan hu hai (coral sea)

Clouds gather on the faraway (sea) horizon, How can I keep my sadness calm
I remained straight-faced, trying to cover the hint of resignation
you silently said that you wanted to leave (The love's gone)
The sadness slowed down silently
Listen carefully to the crashing tides,
It is not from the sea but from tears

Turning around to leave, (You have something to say but remained speechless), unable to say it's over
The love between a seagull and a fish is only an accidental occurrence
Differences had always existed in (the love you gave) our love (we can't go back)
The dust that gathers in the wind (ends up) accumulating to pain
Turning around and leave, (can't say it's over), unable to say it's over
An azure coral sea, a missed momentary paleness
Right from the beginning (you and me both) were not mature and frank enough(shouldn't)
The passion had not changed, (your) smile cannot be forced
Love is buried deep within the coral sea

How do (we) rebuild the damaged sand sculpture, how can (we) fix a broken relationship?
Only that all has ended too quickly and you said you could not understand why
What surprises await in a seashell (Waiting for the flowers to bloom)
We do not want to play the guessing game anymore
The sea breeze caressing the face (the sea breeze caressing the face)
The salty love (the salty love)
Unable to feel any future (between us)

Thursday, March 17, 2011

beautiful orion (forbidden desire)

fading sunset and evening star,
standing at the horizon, gazing at each other.
gazing like they knew exactly what they are doing,
when the truth is they have no idea.
they are confused.
horizon is their secret place,
a dance floor where they met occasionally
a place that always be the witness,
to this strange pair of loneliness
a romantic dance floor where no one seem to dance.
both wanted to,
but every time the beautiful orion fancied it,
the sunset creeps backward.
and when the sunset decide he want it too,
the orion forgot her steps and refused.
the rain fall down,
making love with the beautiful sound of zephyr,
and the jazz mood is on,
but still,
the evening star and the pale sunset not quite sure what to do.
they are clueless.
perhaps gazing at each other occasionally is enough for them
cloudy egos clouds their mind
and when the evening creeps behind the shadow of a moon,
they murmured affection silently,
and fade away in a pleasant despair

Saturday, February 19, 2011

too much of things spoiled

when i was younger, i don't do 5.
its whether 8,9 or 2,3.
never once 5.
5 is just not good enough.
it whether you get it all, or nothing at all.
when i was in high school, i want everything.
i didn't understand the concept of moderation.
years of understanding, learning and accepting,
i get to the point where i can say,
hey 5 is not that bad

we can live happily with simple things in life

Friday, January 28, 2011

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Monday, January 24, 2011

blind man

there is a blind man, live at the corner of the street
he had an accident when he was 2,
and have been blind since,

he live in the dark for almost 30 years already,
he memorized all the corner on the street,
all the shop in the city,
everything is at the back of his head
he have a beautiful girlfriend and live happily at a charming apartment
one day, something happened.
all the effort he and his girlfriend have put in come into result.
the doctor had came up with some way.
miraculously, he can see again.
he and his girlfriend both cried joyously
he can now see again
he can now see again.
stand on the street and see people, the trees, the cars
get on the roof and enjoy the sky, the clouds, the rainbow.
he seems very happy.

but sadly, the happiness wasn't meant to last
weeks later, he got into a brawl with his girlfriend,
and end up walking separate ways.

he dumped that poor girl.
the girl that taught him how to cross the tricky street on the city,
the girl that tell him cotton candy is not a cloud
the girl that pick him up and wipe his cut when he fell down.
the poor little girl that always been there for him for the last 10 years.
only because she have a scar on her face.

so ask yourself,
is seeing really help?

deep in his heart, he realized, its harder to see things now.
living is easier with eyes closed.
30 years of living in the dark had taught him to see the inner beauty of people
to ignore all the flaw on the surface,
to see what is inside,one that really matter ,
to overlook the imperfection, and see it as the new perfect
to see the beautiful soul within,
he suddenly forgot all this when he can see with his eyes again.

so yeah, living is easier with eyes closed,
we are vulnerable human being,
we believe what we see with our eyes,
even sometimes, it lead us to the wrong path.
its harder to see people when you use your vision.
we always judge people on the outside.
so take your time, and close your eyes.
because when you closed your eyes,
you see with heart.

Friday, January 21, 2011

that magical feeling

dulu, every time i passed kfc simpang 4 i felt something.
that some kind of magical feeling yang buat kau senyum sorang2 tunggu traffic light jadi hijau.
ada sikit2 macam orang tak betul
now, there is no more such thing. no more magic no nothing.
just a regular simpang 4

Monday, January 17, 2011


its mabhubku by the way, not marbuku. by azreel azhar

bagaimana aku tidak merintih rindu..

umpama dalam menunggu siang tanpa jemu..
pahitnya itu manis padaku ,ku korbankan nyawa pada mahbubku..
satukanlah aku dalam 1.

apakah "AKU" Apakah "KAMU"..
apakah Hamba apakah Ratu..
bagi org yang cinta melulu smua itu dipandang 1..

tunjukkan aku apa dia yg 1 itu..

wahai yang maha cinta..
engkaulah rumah akulah tangga..
manakah rumah manakah tangga.??
wahai engkau yang bebas..
dari "AKU" & "KITA"
manakah "AKU" manakah "KITA"..??

biarku sakit biarku duka..
asalkan mahbubku senang & suka..
titisan air mata demi untuknya..
menjadi mutiara akhirnya...

-akar januari 11

Thursday, January 13, 2011

kadang2 loan aku nh suka buat kelakar

i saw a robert browning's poem collection for just myr08.90 and i can't even afford that.
now isn't that just sad
i am totally broke